My Gollegdion
My Gollegdion is the 9th episode of Kong Does It Again. Plot Computery: Hey, Cola! Cola: What’s up, Computery? Computery: I was thinking… Computery gestures at his gas mask. Computery: You’re a cola can, and I’m a laptop… why do we need gas masks? It makes sense for someone like Mister Snake or Jimmy Kong because they have lungs, but we don’t. What would really happen if we took these off? Cola: You want me to try it? Computery: If you want to. Cola apprehensively takes off her gas mask. Initially there’s no effect, but then she freezes up a bit. Her eyes turn white. Computery: Hey, on second thought, maybe you should put that ba- Cola starts clawing at herself, tearing her aluminum open. Computery screams. Bubble Chat: Bubble Chat is here :) Bubble Chat swoops in and puts Cola’s gas mask back on her face. She starts to breathe as she reverts to her normal state. Computery: Let’s never do that again. Cola looks down to see soda spilling out of the tears she caused. Cola: That’s… that’s probably… really not good. Bubble Chat: Some duct tape can probably fix that :P Bubble Chat unveils a roll of duct tape that he wraps around Cola. Bubble Chat: Good as new! Cola: I don’t FEEL good as new.... I feel really sick, actually. Maybe I can ask Jimmy Kong for help. Cola and Computery wander over to Jimmy Kong. Cola: Hey, Jimmy Kong, could you kill me? Jimmy Kong: Sure thing! Jimmy Kong grabs a sledgehammer and raises it over his head, but reconsiders. Jimmy Kong: My remote is broken, you know. You wouldn’t be able to come back. Cola: Ack!! So I’m just going to be sick like this until the gas is gone?! Computery: That isn’t good news. Jimmy Kong: Hey, look on the bright side, today’s challenge pertains to making that happen. And speaking of the competition, it’s time for elimination! The contestants stand in the parking lot again. Jimmy Kong: Les Explosifs, you’ve lost again. Today we’ve earned thirty votes, a record for KDIA! Fish Bowly: Wow! That’s really cool! Jimmy Kong: All it took to make that happen was an apocalypse. Anyways, those thirty votes were split across six people, which is probably a sign of a really healthy series. If I call your name, you’re safe, and you will get a leather jacket. Eraser Cap: Seriously, Jimmy? None of us even wear leather jackets! Jimmy Kong puts on a leather jacket. Jimmy Kong: Well, I wear leather jackets, and I don't think I asked for your approval. Lots of you got zero votes this time. Those people being Bubble Chat, Computery, Fish Bowly, Isotope, and Mister Snake. Jimmy Kong throws out an assortment of ill-fitting leather jackets. Jimmy Kong: Three of you got one vote, being Cola, Night Cap, and Eraser Cap. Eraser Cap and Night Cap catch their jackets, but Cola just lets theirs hit their face. Cola: I feel… I feel really sick… Jimmy Kong: Red Velvet, you got three votes. Jimmy Kong throws a leather jacket at Red Velvet, which lands by his feet. Red Velvet: That is weak sauce. Jimmy Kong: That IS weak sauce! Anyways, now it’s just down to USB and Knot. One of you got seven votes, while the other got seventeen. USB: Final two AGAIN?! I can't be eliminated this early! Jimmy Kong: I'm pleased to say you won't be! You got seven votes. Jimmy Kong gives the last leather jacket to USB. USB: I don’t know why this keeps happening. Jimmy Kong: I’m sorry to say Knot, but you’ve been eliminated. It’s time you join Long-Name in the jailhouse. Knot: Dang!! Knot turns to his team members. Knot: Guys, even if I’m not with you anymore, I know you’re gonna do great in this game. I’m certain yo- Jimmy Kong: I’d really prefer if you didn’t give an emotional speech. Knot: Alright, alright… I have it written on a napkin in the junk drawer. You guys can read it later. The shot cuts to Knot being lead to the jail cell as the contestants look on. Jimmy Kong opens it and Knot walks in. Long-Name: Hi, Knot! I’m sure you’ll make much better company than Micycle. Knot: I’m pretty sure Micycle makes much better company than you. Jimmy Kong closes the jail cell and everybody walks out. Domino: I think he deserved it. Remember when he sold Attack Lobster? Ilobulus: Oh man, Attack Lobster was my friend! Poke Egg: It was really hysterical when he and Wesley played checkers and We- Jimmy Kong: Stop talking about the Attack Lobster, it makes me emotional. Anyways, we need to get on with today’s challenge. Red Velvet: Is it juggling oranges? Jimmy Kong: I promise you, it’s not juggling oranges, and it’s probably never gonna be juggling oranges. Today’s challenge is to find the items that you need to summon The Jackal, as listed in the book. Whichever team can collect the five items first, wins. Go! Everybody stands around for a little bit, looking at Jimmy Kong. Jimmy Kong: What are you all looking at? Isotope: Uh, Jimmy Kong? Jimmy Kong: What? Isotope: What would those items be? Jimmy Kong reaches in his pockets, and then pats around his leather jacket. He stutters. Jimmy Kong: Uh… I… I left the book in the library. Be right back! Jimmy Kong starts running at full speed towards the library. The contestants sit around in silence. Computery: So, uh… Explosifs people… who should be our new team captain? USB: I sort of forgot team captains were a thing. Fish Bowly: I think it should be Eraser Cap! Mister Snake: Why Eraser Cap? Fish Bowly: Eraser Cap is my friend. Mister Snake: Fair enough, Eraser Cap is everybody’s friend. She’s team captain now. Eraser Cap: 'Hurray! ''Bracelety looks over and laughs. '''Bracelety: I don’t see YOUR frozen yogurt machine! Jimmy Kong comes running back with the book, panting and out of breath. Jimmy Kong: OKAY! Okay… I got the book… I found it. Jimmy Kong opens the book. Jimmy Kong: Right… I'm gonna skip past how to set up the ritual for now and just focus on what we need to start it. The objects include… Jimmy Kong flips a page. Jimmy Kong: The corpse of a rabbit… a copy of the Bible… a hunting knife… a golden ring… and… well… Poorly-Made Card: Well what? Jimmy Kong: …a dirty magazine. Poke Egg: Never figured The Jackal would be that kind of guy, Jimmy Kong: Be quiet, and get going. Call me on these walkie talkies when you’re done! Jimmy Kong hands a walkie talkie to Eraser Cap and Bracelety. The two teams start walking in opposite directions. Beisel Globuley: Why is it that as soon as a challenge is announced, we start walking in opposite directions? Toxic Mushroom: I would love it if you stopped talking. Bracelety: '''Alright, Manatees! What item will we find first? '''Alarm Clock: How about the gold ring? I know a jewelry store we could go after. Bracelety: '''How do you know where that is? '''Alarm Clock: You see… there was once this girl I met… and sh- Bracelety: Alarm Clock, I will never care about what your personal life is like. Just give me directions to your jewelry store. Alarm Clock: I'm going to smother you in your sleep, Bracelety. Anyways, we should take a left here… Les Explosifs are walking along when they all stop to look at Mister Snake. Eraser Cap: Let's get the easiest one out of the way, first. Mister Snake: 'Okay, fine. ''Mister Snake takes out a dirty magazine out from under his hat and hands it to Eraser Cap. '''Eraser Cap: This job is easy! Now what should we get next? Night Cap: I don't know where we’d find a golden ring… or a hunting knife for that matter. Unfortunately I think a rabbit corpse is our best option. Eraser Cap: Where do we find one of those? Bubble Chat: '''I know where a rabbit corpse could be! :o '''Isotope: Really? Could you go get it for us? Bubble Chat: Sure thing! :) Bubble Chat starts flying straight up. Night Cap: Let’s hope he can get that right. Anyways, since we’re walking in the direction of the library, we should probably go try and find a bible. The scene changes to Les Explosifs walking along the halls of the library. USB: Right, here are the religious texts… let’s just take a bible and get going. USB takes a bible off of the shelf and the contestants start walking towards the door. The scene changes to the Manatees in the jewelry store, looking at a display case of golden rings. Domino: Four 2.0, can you break this glass? Four 2.0 lifts up Domino. Four 2.0: YES, I CAN. Domino: THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT- AAAA! Four 2.0 swings Domino like a baseball bat into the glass. It shatters everywhere. Poorly-Made Card: '''Thanks a bunch, Four 2.0! '''Four 2.0: MY PLEASURE. Domino stands up, woozy. Domino: '''It wasn’t mine... '''Poke Egg: Which one should we go after next? I personally think the SCANDALOUS magazine, we could try and raid Mister Snake’s stash. Hearty: Wait, you want a magazine? Poke Egg: Uh… yeah? Hearty: I have one right here! Hearty takes out a magazine. Toxic Mushroom is visibly concerned. Toxic Mushroom: Hearty, let me see this. Toxic Mushroom opens the magazine and looks confused. Toxic Mushroom: Hearty, this is just a bunch of pictures of people holding hands. Hearty: It makes me feel nice. Bracelety snatches the magazine. Bracelety: I think it’s intimate enough, next item! Bubble Chat is seen soaring through the air, in a non-infected area. He swoops down by a pet store and flies in. A key is working at the desk. Key: Hi sir, what can I get you- sir? Bubble Chat opens a cage with a rabbit inside it, and picks it up by the neck with his mouth. He flies out of the store. Key: Sir? SIR?! The Manatees are seen standing to a big pile of knives in the middle of the desert, also in an area with no gas. Ilobulus: New Mexico’s famous pile of hunting knives! R.I.C. grabs a knife from the pile with her mouth, and says through gritted teeth: R.I.C.: '''How do you think these knives got here? '''Alarm Clock: That’s the most incredible thing about the pile of knives. Nobody knows who’s put the knives here, and whenever somebody takes one, someone puts another back in its place… Calligraphy: Maybe it was a ghost! Everybody starts to walk back into the blue gas. As they enter, Beisel Globuley begins to talk. Beisel Globuley: I hate to distract from the mystical pile of knives, but if we can just leave the gas anytime we want, why do we even stick around with Jimmy Kong? Or even yet, why don’t we just call someone to help us clear out the gas? I know this guy who coul- Toxic Mushroom: BEISEL! There is nothing, nothing at all that requires you to keep talking. Beisel Globuley: My name’s not Beisel. Toxic Mushroom: Excuse me? Beisel Globuley: My name’s not Beisel! It’s Biesel! And it has been this whole time! Bracelety: That’s a bunch of nonsense. You clearly introduced yourself as Beisel. Beisel Globuley: I said Biesel, you all just misheard me! That’s how disrespected I am in this group. People even like Alarm Clock more. Alarm Clock: That really hurt my feelings. Poorly-Made Card: Quick vote, everybody. Is this guy’s name Beisel? Everybody chatters in agreement. Poorly-Made Card: Then it’s settled! Your name is Beisel. Beisel Globuley: No it’s not! Poorly-Made Card: It is now. Bracelety: Let’s head to the general store! I saw a basket of pocket bibles there, and I think those probably count. The members of Les Explosifs wander aimlessly to their next destination when suddenly a rabbit drops out of the sky in front of them. It dies upon hitting the ground. Fish Bowly: GOD! Bubble Chat flies down. Bubble Chat: Oh, come on… I didn’t do THAT good of a job :3 USB: Bubble Chat… erm… uh… USB points to the rabbit corpse. USB: Was this alive? Bubble Chat: Doesn’t something have to be alive first if it’s dead? :> USB: I mean, was it alive before it just hit the ground? Bubble Chat: Oh! Then yes :) Fish Bowly: Bubble Chat, that is HORRIFIC! That’s animal cruelty! How could you do such a terrible thing? Bubble Chat: Don’t worry, a sign at the pet store had his name… I’ll recover him and bring him back soon B) The group stands in silence. Mister Snake shrugs before picking the rabbit up with his mouth and starting to move. Mister Snake: Well, that’s good enough for me! Let’s go get the next thingy. Cola looks really sick. Cola: Wait, if Bubble Chat was able to fly out of the gas, does that mean I still have to be taped up like this? Isotope: Would it make you feel better if I said yes? Cola: No. Eraser Cap: Alright! Let’s go to the general store to get a hunting knife, and then we can worry about the ring. The Les Explosifs team is seen walking into the Weaselton General Store. Eraser Cap wanders over to a basket of hunting knives, which is right next to a basket of pocket bibles. Eraser Cap reaches out for a hunting knife, but stops upon seeing a hand reach for a pocket bible. She looks up to see the Minister Manatees across from her. Eraser Cap: ...hello, Bracelety. Funny seeing you here. Bracelety: Yeah. We’re only in the same town and all. The two teams stare at each other for awhile. Computery: We’re not really supposed to meet up again on these kinds of challenges, are we? Calligraphy: No, no… we’re not. We should part ways. Ilobulus: For the greater good. Eraser Cap: I agree. Good seeing you! Eraser Cap grabs the knife. The Les Explosifs wander out of the general store. Eraser Cap: Well gang, we only have one thing left, and it’s the golden ring. Now where could we find one of those? The whole team thinks for a moment. Isotope: I’m sort of stumped on this one. Fish Bowly: I don’t know any jewlery stores around here… or anywhere else we could find a gold ring. Mister Snake: Hmmm… a ring… now where could I find one of those? Mister Snake’s pupils dilate as he has a flashback. Him and Jimmy Kong are sitting at the kitchen table, laughing. Jimmy Kong: And then, and then he said, “OH GOD! HOW WILL I FEED MY WIFE AND CHILDREN?” Mister Snake snaps back to reality. Mister Snake: Wife… wife and children! GIVE ME THAT WALKIE TALKIE! Mister Snake snatches the walkie talkie from Eraser Cap and starts hurrying. Eraser Cap: What?! What’s the matter?! The rest of the team starts running after him. Eraser Cap: Where are you going?? Mister Snake: 'I know somebody! I know someone who has a ring!! ''The shot cuts to Knot and Long-Name, having a conversation in the jail cell. 'Knot: '''And he says, “If I don’t have a lobster by tomorrow Snot is going to bust my kneecaps open”. So I said to him… ''Knot gets interrupted as Mister Snake slams open the door to the prison, the rest of the Explosifs in tow. '''Mister Snake: Guys! You can still help this team! Long-Name: '''How so? '''Mister Snake: Could you please check if Micycle has a ring? Knot: No, no, I don’t see on- Mister Snake: The SHOES, you moron, the SHOES! Take off his shoes!! Knot slips off the tennis shoes off of the front two paws of Micycle’s corpse. He spots a gold ring on one of his paws. Knot: Looks like he has one right here. Mister Snake: Give it to me! Knot takes off the ring and throws it to Mister Snake. He catches it and starts to laugh. Mister Snake: Thank god Micycle chose gold! What a weirdo. Mister Snake brings the walkie talkie to his mouth with his tongue. Mister Snake: Jimmy! We got all of the items! Jimmy Kong: Alright! Let me come over there and see. Everybody looks at the door for a couple of seconds before realizing. Isotope: Oh, his remote’s broken. We’re just going to have to sit here and wait for him to run over. Fish Bowly: '''It was really cool when he could teleport. '''Red Velvet Cake: I think I can do the elimination thing. I just talk to the air, right? Mister Snake: 'Yeah. '''Red Velvet: '''Okay, here goes. The Minister Manatees lost! Please vote for one of these losers to be eliminated. * Alarm Clock * Beisel Globuley * Bracelety * Calligraphy * Domino * Four 2.0 * Hearty * Ilobulus * Poke Egg * Poorly-Made Card * R.I.C. * Toxic Mushroom '''Red Velvet: '''Voting ends January 1st, 2019! Good luck. ''Jimmy Kong bursts through the door. '''Jimmy Kong: Let me see those items. Eraser Cap shows Jimmy Kong the five things. Jimmy Kong: 'Yeah, those will do for summoning him. Good work! We can’t do it today though, we need to collect weapons. '''USB: '''Probably a good idea. '''Jimmy Kong: '''But when 2019 comes? This guy is as good as gone. ''The shot cuts to Ilobulus digging through a bush. He pops out empty-handed. '''Ilobulus: No rabbit corpses here! '''Alarm Clock: '''I think the other team’s probably won by now. Trivia *This is the last episode to air on 2018. Category:Episodes Category:KDIA Episodes